my new sites up, in case ya didnty get the email...

www.goshiminteresting.com

So long, farewell, auf weidersehen, goodbye

This, my friends is my 200th post!!! and my goodbye, I am removing myself from the web entirely except for a family webpage that will be up by the new year if all goes as planned. I am focusing myself on my family and repairing it,I am working now, my husband and I are going to start counseling and I am starting school in the fall so I just don't have the time, and really the desire has kinda left me...maybe if I had started an anonymous blog, I really just want a journal now. Who knows I may decide to do this again but right now my husband and I have decided to remove ourselves from the web, him, his game, me, my sites (myspace, all that time consuming jazz) and focus on us, so friends family if you want to remain updated again the website will be up by January and I will link it here, also email and hello! the telephone! and I have a sidekick so I.M. blog buddies, I will continue to read and comment, it will just be far far far less as I will be online much less. I haven't decided what to do about the site leave it up make it private, but I'm sure I will decide soon enough, as for now...



ignore the dumb 5 second beginning, I'll leave you with my last secret (i never made it to 30 hah) I never saw this movie, yet I know pretty much every song from it...weird huh?

my ~FAVORITE~ of course

I'am thankful for... secret 5 of 30

Happy thanksgiving y'all, sorry this is late

I'am thankful for

-a healthy, beautiful, bright, precocious, even tempered daughter

-a roof over my head and food to eat

-my job

-my husbands job

-a daycare that gives us both the ability to work

-a second chance on my marriage

-the ability to wake up each day and take another breathe

-supportive friends (real and blog friends)

I may have had the year from hell but I try to always remember that I will always have things to be thankful for, I hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving!

**secret 5 of 30 (man this is slow going huh?) I hated thanksgiving as a child, it was my least liked holiday cause my mom made us man sized meals and it was a rule that you couldn't leave the table till your plate was clean, it was torture, I like it now and I can look back and laugh but I remember that feeling of dread every year haha**

secret 4 of 30

“I have no particular talent. I am merely inquisitive.”
Albert Einstein




I have a new watermark yeays, I don't care to make photography a career, I don't know what I want to do career wise anymore to be honest, but its a hobby of mine that I really care about and try to put time and effort into. My watermark has always been there to...mark my territory, to say "look! I did this", which leads to my 4th secret, I absolutely loathe when people ask me what kind of camera I have, its not that I mind telling them, not at all, but would it kill people to acknowledge its me behind the damn camera? I'm not saying I'm some brilliant photographer,I'm an amateur through and through. Hell, I don't even claim to be good but it can sting when you spend a good while getting that perfect shot and are really proud only to have someone say "that's a cool picture...what camera do you have?" After you eat an awesome meal how many people ask the cook what pot they used? Photography is learned... I look at the photos I took in feb and the photos I take now and I see a definite difference (don't believe me? click HERE ) I no longer click away in auto, so it urks me when someone assumes I don't put in any effort.

1 year pics cancelled

Awful title huh? I don't believe in fate but this was just not meant to be! , not being home to take them on her birthday,waiting for the backdrop to come, waiting for a good day to get them,taking them and being dissapointed at something whether it be the weather or the fact that I was missing something , the day I was finally ready with everything perfect had the cake the balloons everything, my daughter was getting sick so she was fussy, she was NOT having it, she did not want her photo taken, I gave up and decided to work with what I had, (which to be honest really aren't bad, just missing the bday feel) immediately after that day one by one we all got sick, that's why Ive been gone so long. my daughters losing her voice and everything. this year has been an absolute disaster...whens it gonna be over? and on that note I'm off to be grumpy and sick, I'll be back soon.




One of my favs, look at that faceeeeeeee, this one one of the practice pics I took before I had everything and on a crappy day, again nice but missing a bday feel, is it just me that feels that way? Believe me I had cake and balloons not to mention nice day, she was not having it that day, she was in tears in practically every picture, they were still cute but I feel bad doing anything but deleting them knowing she wasn't feeling well, oh well there's always next year.

secret 3 of 30

"I hope you still feel small when you stand by the ocean,Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens,Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance,and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance...I hope you dance"

(I know the songs cliche...so sue me!)

I'm not sure what to call this... a mess up? practice? I attempted to do her 1 year pics but it just wasn't happening...I hate hate hate work and weather, they both lead to bad pictures, reason? by the time I get home its practically dusk so no good light and its been raining for 2 days but mark my words I will get the photos I want,as much of a mess up the situation was I liked this photo too much to not try to work with it *sigh* I love this little girl, she makes my horrible pregnancy with her absolutely worth it,which leads to my 3rd secret, at 39 weeks I was told I was going to be induced because my blood pressure was sky high, I was sent home to pack and was to check into the hospital the next morning...my secret? As soon as we left my Ob I made my husband take me to McDonalds to get me some salty fries, I know I know, but I really had no idea how dangerous high blood pressure was at that point and was scared it would be normal the next morning and they would send me home, I was that desperate to get her out...its kinda embarrassing to admit just knowing now how much of a miracle it is to bring home a healthy child, I mean so much can go wrong I really had no question I was coming home with a healthy baby, little did I know how close I was to disaster, I thank my lucky stars my naivete didn't cost me any harm to my lil munchkin'

secret 2 of 30

"Who am I to say this situation isn't great? When its my job to make the most of it,
Of course I didn't know that it would happen to me. Not that easy."





Are you guys ready for secret 2? I'm still in shock over what has taken place this year and feel that I will always harbor resentment because of it. But, I must be clear not for a second do I second guess my decision to work things out with him, I'm just incredibly pissed my rose colored glasses were removed and I've witnessed such coldness not only from him but the people I surrounded myself with because of him...I doubt I'll ever get over that, I can forgive but I can never forget...